Member-only story
This year is moving way too fast, and at the same time, way too slow. I don’t think that’s an uncommon feeling to be having when August rolls around, and suddenly it feels like we’ve gone from the end of the beginning of the year, to the beginning of the end. The year just started, but now it feels like it’s almost over. That feeling is amplified for me this year, because it’s one of those in-between years that I think most people have from time to time — a year of making and meeting goals, of working toward a future that has not yet arrived. Where every day that passes is another 24 hours that I can’t get back, if I didn’t spend it getting closer to where I want to go, and every day that remains is another 24 hours standing between me and where I want to be.
I’m getting tired, but I can’t quit. If there was more time, I could rest a little. If there was less time, I would be done sooner. Part of the problem is that I’ve had so many of these years stacked on top of each other that my faith in the light at the end of the tunnel is wavering. How many more years am I going to spend telling myself, just a little further, just push a little harder? Is the light real this time, or am I chasing the horizon? My biggest fear in life is becoming complacent and settling for what is just because I no longer have the will to fight for more. My other biggest fear is missing out on everything…
