I've always been the same, and no one could ever give me an answer when I asked when I was younger. It all starts to look very arbitrary whenever you take a closer look at it. Of course, it's not arbitrary. There are reasons for all of it, but no one can speak those reasons out loud while upholding it without looking kind of awful.

Thank you for taking the time to read and leave a thoughtful response. Glad I'm not alone in my lifelong confusion about it all!